#13 – SPLASH

26 Nov

SPLASH (1984) – Allen Bauer

Synopsis – A man is reunited with a mermaid who saves him from drowning as a boy and falls in love not knowing who/what she is.
Tom Hanks – A man. Thee man.
Co-stars – Daryl Hannah, John Candy & Eugene Levy.
Best Parts –  that Touchstone pictures was created by Brain Grazer & Ron Howard simply because Disney didn’t want to release a movie under the Disney name that had nudity (Daryl), young Allen jumping off the boat, young Freddie looking up the dresses of the women on the boat, Allen’s secretary, When Hanks freaks out at the wedding guests about Victoria, when the cab driver short stops and Hanks flies into the glass, at the police station when Hanks says “Hi” and she starts making out with him, when she makes the crazy sea monster noise and breaks all the televisions, the bathtub scene, that Eugene keeps getting beat up by that mean husband.
Worst Parts –
Hanks’s expression on the DVD cover, obviously Allen should have more questions… not even only when he finds out she’s a mermaid – but she’s sayin’ some pretty weird shit through the first half of the movie too, there’s no way that water is Cape Cod water… and the coral where is wallet falls out??, Madison must not sweat during sex. There’s no way she learned that all that shit from watching a few hours of television. Why six days? Is there a sea witch? Are there other mer-people? Where did Eugene find those two guys from The Hills Have Eyes? I’m not even gonna get into him swimmin’ away with her at the end…
Best Hanks Acting – The ice skating scene & when he’s in the tank with her.
Best Line(s) – “It’s not that you had a lot to drink, it’s that you’re too skinny.” “BOCCE BALLS!” “I couldn’t get one leg in there… my daughter’s lucky, she’s anorexic.” “Madison isn’t a name. Okay.. Madison. Good thing we weren’t at 149th street.” “Does she eat worms?” “Is the big secret that you’ve been keeping from me… is it that you’re a mermaid or is there something else?”

Overall – This film takes something that we as children thought was magical and perhaps possible and now makes the cynical adult we’ve become accept it in our world. We see that it’s ridiculous, but it’s more about what this movie makes us feel than what it makes us believe.  (89 = B)

EXCEPTIONAL – (A+) 95 – 100
EXCELLENT – (A) 90-94
GOOD – (B) 80 – 89
AVERAGE – (C) 70-79
NOT A FAVORITE – (D) 60 – 69

To see original post and list of his films (hyperlinked if reviewed) CLICK HERE.


One Response to “#13 – SPLASH”

  1. Nico Medrano 2014 at : #

    But he doesn’t ask enough questions………………n

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