19 May

ImageI’m watching an awesome movie about breakups right now. What does one do when they go through a break up? There are several steps.

  • DENIAL – Are we really broken up? We can’t be. No. Wait.. .are we? No, we’re fine. Everything’s fine. We were just talking about doing all this stuff together. So… seriously… it’s over? Okay… okay… that’s cool. It’s over, I guess. We can still be friends. We’re totally gonna be the best of friends. This is gonna be great because the relationship… see the relationship wasn’t working, but the friendship… it’s gonna be twice as strong now!! But really all you want to hear is:
  • SADNESS – You’re heart broken. Gotta get those tears out. You think about the good times, you think about the bad times. You think about the things they said right before the rip cord was pulled. You think about the plans you had made together that you now won’t be able to make because… well… you’re not together. It’s all very sad.
  • ANGER – You get angry thinking about the good times, you get angry thinking about the bad times. You think about things they said during the break up and you begin to see red.   You can’t go on that trip you had planned or see that concert you have tickets to. Fuck this! Just because they want to do what they want to do when they want to do it!!
  • PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: Some make drastic changes to their physical appearance post break up such as: cutting all their hair off, losing or gaining a shit ton of weight and changing their wardrobe. Heartbreak can make you want to change everything about yourself on the outside because that’s what you have control of while the inside suffers. Hopefully you decide to all of a sudden eat right and start working out. But if you’re me… you’ll finally be able to get into those size 5 jeans you’ve had your eye on.
  • EXCESSIVE ACTIVITY: Keep yourself busy. Thrust yourself into work, projects, anything that will keep you distracted. Your job… bees?

Distractions. Serial dating. Get out there again. Sure you’re not ready to fall in love again, but you can certainly meet new people and perhaps visit the past for a good ole confidence boost. I’m not saying this is a GOOD idea… I’m saying this is what people tend to do to keep themselves busy. Backwards steps. Sex with an ex or someone you know will “spend time” with you.  Getting drunk and making bad choices.  You’ve done it before and all you want is a sense of the familiar. A sense of feeling wanted since you currently feel so unwanted. Serial dating also includes attempting to find every single person in New York city and going on a first date. Maybe second, but never third… because you’re probably not ready. Strangers and Sex. Exes and drinks.  Work and extra curricular activities. That’s what this step is all about.

  • ACCEPTANCE: Now it’s that time where you are exhausted by your will to move on. The dating slows down and you begin to change your focus a bit. You’re not thinking of the person as much as you may finally be able to move on in a healthy way… eventually.

They say time heals everything. If step 7 is MOVING ON… then hopefully, with the improvements our society has made to technology in the last few years, we will stumble upon a machine newly invented that will speed up steps one through 6. As I watch this fictional movie about a break up, I can’t help but thinking how this main character wishes that this machine were well on its way to market.

Then I start to think about movies people SHOULD watch during a break up. You don’t necessarily want to watch a heartbreaking movie… it only adds salt to the wound to watch that or a romantic comedy or something along those lines. Here’s what my best friend Dan Testa likes to watch during a break up:


One Response to “THEY SAY IT’S HARD TO DO”

  1. erica johnson 2012 at : #

    I dated this guy which I feel had a lot of girlfriends but deep down inside I loved him too much thinking I can get around that problem. Botton line I couldnt take it so I gave him his walking papers. SEE YEAH!

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