I’M IN A NICHOLAS SPARKS NOVEL

11 Oct

This weekend I found myself in a Nicholas Sparks novel and here was my plot…

Pam, a hard headed writer from the city, traveled out to the Hamptons to house sit for her parents who had decided to travel upstate for Columbus Day weekend. She scraped herself out of the New York office, bid farewell to her Orthodox Jew coworkers and began her journey to Penn Station.  Pam had just returned from a work trip to Boston and felt, as she climbed onto the LIRR that Friday, recently her life was composed of nothing but travel.

It wasn’t out of the norm for Pam to spontaneously run into someone she had gone to elementary/ Jr. High and High school with from the Island. Pam made it a point to make sure she didn’t look like a homeless person each time she traveled back home, just in case of an unexpected reunion. She kept herself busy on the train, rolling her eyes at the cliché “city folk” who felt it completely appropriate to have a speaker phone conversation that the rest of the train was able to “enjoy”. Pam had some revisions to make on a first draft of a musical she had been working on for the past 2 weeks so she plugged in her headphones and disappeared into the world of acoustic guitar paired with witty dialogue.

Pushing through the excited dogs to get to her room, Pam unloaded her luggage before taking a nap on her freshly made bed. She dreamed of the Golden Girls and Murphy Brown getting together to gang bang unexpected men in their 30’s. When she awoke it was time to feed the mutts. 2 pills in Rocky’s bowl, one in Bailey’s and one in Gracie’s.

“Owe! Fuck!” Pam explained as Rocky’s sharp nails dug into her bare feet upon anticipation of receiving his trough.

She loved coming to visit her parents place. It was her sanctuary away from the hustle and bustle of the city and one of the few times she was guaranteed sleep through the night due to nocturnal felines and “young” upstairs neighbors. An itunes playlist was immediately created “VOCAL CHALLENGE Vol. 1”. The list consisted of Broadway and pop songs that are particularly difficult for Pam to sing giving her goals for the day. Living in a Queens apartment with paper-thin walls, she didn’t often get the opportunity to belt and keep her singing voice in shape. Having a property surrounding closed doors was her excuse.

“And Another 100 People just got off of the train…” “ Together ,it doesn’t feel right at all!”, “When Lily Came I was in my bed…” and before she knew it, her throat hurt and it was time for the dogs to go out and relieve themselves. It was a gorgeous day out and Pam’s step mother, being a gardener, had created quite the garden of Eden on the property that would make any “getaway weekend” a relaxing one. Pam chased the dogs around the yard, checking off “Cardio” for the day and collapsed onto the hammock listening to the sound of her beagles chase squirrels and her golden lab bark at air. Suddenly the beagle barking got louder and she didn’t want it to continue and disturb the neighbors so she went in search of the baby pup.

“Gracie!!! Gracie, Come!!” Pam shouted as her gaze was brought to the fence separating her yard from the backyard of the summer rental that was coming to an end. Gracie had met a friend on the other side of the chains, a handsome collie that sniffed her through their Verona barrier. “Gracie, what are you doing?” Pam asked as she climbed through the garden of flourishing flowers to retrieving her K-9. “Oh… hey there!” Pam reached through the fence for the collie to sniff her hand.

“That your dog?” A voice called out from the other side of the fence.

Pam squinted and attempted to create a shadow with her hand from the harsh sun. “Huh?”

“That yours? The dog?” The voice began to take the form of a tall, handsome, shirtless man.

Are you kidding me? Pam thought. Don’t say ‘Huh’ again. “This is Gracie. She’s my… step sister.” Clever.

“Gracie?” He asked.

“Yeah. She’s a sweetheart and extremely curious.”

“She’s in love.” He said with a smile. And so was the character of Pam in this Nicholas Sparks fictional story.

“What’s your name?”

“Pam. I’m Pam.”

“Ben.”

Hi Ben. It’s nice to meet you, Ben. Would you like to climb over the fence and… hang out?

“Was that you singing before?”  He asked.

Poop everywhere. “Huh?” Pam asked, flames rising in her cheeks.

“I heard singing… from…”

“Oh.” Cue the awkward laugh. “Yeah… I was… practicing…”

“It sounded good.” Poop everywhere and no words coming out of the mouth. “Come on.” He whistled before returning to his house to retrieve… his… shirt.

“Come on… uh… Gracie!” Pam grabbed Gracie and headed back towards the house, knowing that this would be the last time she saw Ben before heading back to the city. Reality. She had a moment. A moment that was happening right in front of her instead of a fantasy an ocean away. She enjoyed it. Then it passed. Reality.

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5 Responses to “I’M IN A NICHOLAS SPARKS NOVEL”

  1. Sam-I-am 2011 at : #

    Love it! I live my lice through you…. It’s like if I had never moved and turned into a teenage cliche I would be having normal wierd and fun experiences like you. Instead I lay in bed never travel and am still awake cause my daughter is sick and won’t sleep and then at 7 I have to get up no matter what Nd get Dorian off to school so hopefully he can live the greatness that life can give him and he and my daughter can fulfill their dreams while I sit at home alone and read your blogs with a smile on my face just finding myself thinking what if……. I love you aunti Pam! Jayla got her present in the mail FYI… Tried to call u wanted u 2 know. We love u!

  2. Chris D. 2011 at : #

    Unreal!!! I loved this edition

  3. Eddie 2011 at : #

    In a Sparks novel, Ben would have cancer. You would fall in love with him and learn a valuable lesson, right before Ben dies. You would then realize that your life has been a waste, you clean up your act and go to Law School. I’m going to read Fight Club now, to cleanse my system of the extra estrogen it created while I was writing this comment.

  4. Rachel 2011 at : #

    I hate to break it to you but this sounds more like the start of a porn movie. Or so I’ve heard…

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