20 Aug

Dating isn’t easy. Dating is even harder for those who hate dating. I hate dating. I’ve been a serial dater for years and I come across the same problem: DISAPPOINTMENT.

 Then… all of a sudden… amidst your dating failure after failure you met…. a catch, a huge possibility, the guy who reminds you of your John Krasinski from “The Office”. Oh… wait… that guy’s moving away in a couple weeks. Of course. How dare you think that you can enjoy the company of someone from the opposite sex for ONE MOMENT without it ending in one of the following ways:

1.) He’s got a girlfriend

2.) He’s gay

3.) (my personal favorite) He just wants to be friends.

(This blog looks like Christmas)

But this one? Didn’t. He didn’t just want to be friends and against my better judgement I decided to go out with him again upon his request. If you knew how infrequent a good date was for me, you’d understand why I entertained the idea of entertaining the idea of Long Distance. Two words I always roll my eyes at.

After agreeing to this encounter, I knew it was a mistake. This wouldn’t be about two people who were attracted to each other and enjoyed each other’s company getting together to “hang out”… it would be about two people who were attracted to each other and enjoyed each other’s company getting together to sigh and say “what If?” He knew it too. Unfortunately we’re still in that age bracket where we ignore the red flags like “LONG DISTANCE” and put a big wall up in front of it that says “BUDDIES

Needless to say, I was already in the process of transitioning back into “numbness“. The fact that our “sudo” date went well, just made me laugh even harder. Of-fucking-course. How dare I… for a moment.

The idea of spending the little “free”-time I have during my week dating does nothing but exhaust me. This is a direct result of the consistent, reliable, domino effect that is the crazy little thing called “love“, or the hunt for it rather, in my life.

I broke the news to him at his suggest of a second date. A date that would have involved him getting on a plane… My response wasn’t forced because my admiration for this guy wasn’t forced.

I can’t afford to put any more effort into a mirage of potential. And the wall I put in front of that? TIME. It’s just not the right timing, ever… isn’t it? “The right time and right place have never been friends.” – Cliff Eberhardt.

Well, not what I wanted to hear, but I understand. It’s tough enough to do long distance with someone you’ve known for a while, even tougher with two who’ve just met. Timing sucks –

If you do decide you want to date a guy that lives far away…or if (where he is) ends up on your list of places you might end up, I’d love to give it a shot :) You’re super talented and have a great sense of humour and you look amazing and now I sound like Gosling’s pick up line from CrazyStupidLove – but you’re a mix of awesome that doesn’t exist in many people.

(The line was “The Perfect combination of Sexy and Cute”… but I appreciated the reference after I admitted enjoying many parts of that recent flick.)

Keep in touch, and if you’re up here or I’m down there we should def hang out.

(sigh) C’est Le Vie…



  1. Eddie 2011 at : #

    I met someone once. However, being with her meant leaving my family behind, moving somewhere far and basically starting a life as someone else. Seeing how my family is everything to me, being away from them is to be someone else. It sucks that in order to be with your potential soul mate, means that you’d have to give up something else meaningful. She turned out to be mentally unstable and I’m not being humorous, I’m being literal. The point is, I understand what it’s like and I think if I meet someone like Pam from “The Office”, I would strongly consider doing whatever it takes to be with her.

    • Pam Quinn 2011 at : #

      We should get coffee one day and try to be REAL friends.

  2. Jen 2012 at : #

    I have no idea how I stumbled on this – I think I was looking up a cute meme about ‘icky dating life’. I wrote an artical for the publication I write for, called 50 First Dates… it goes right along with what you are saying. Sigh. Good luck to you Pam. I am hanging up my spurs and getting out of the saddle. Bluck.

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