So… I went to California for a week… (PART ONE)

6 Aug

DAY ONE: This trip had started as planned. I arrived in Austin, TX on Thursday the 28th receiving news that my sister had recently suffered from Strep throat. Having passed it on to her boyfriend and accepting a penicillin shot in the ass, we were back on schedule.

DAY TWO: The day of our flight to LA we picked up my perfect niece and headed straight to the airport, praying to God that all she would want to do on the plane was snuggle and maybe sing some show tunes quietly as to not disturb other passengers. At 2yrs old, I understand why this would be difficult… but an aunt can hope. We arrive in LAX later that evening and we are picked up by a teary eyed grandma (pronounced “gama” by the youngin) and begin our journey to Thousand Oaks, which is an hour away.

ON OUR WAY TO BED – We get the kid down and the woman (gama/mom) goes upstairs to sleep. It’s been a long day of 2year old birthday party set up. Our step father reminds me to turn off all the lights before bed, which I agree to,  and my sister and I decide to share a quiet glass of wine after he joins his wife upstairs. For fear that we were not meant to be drinking red wine in the beloved projection room, my sister and I keep our conversation to a whisper. Our step father, not knowing we are still up, decides to sneak down stairs while releasing an audible breath in frustration that I did not adhere to his light request. Jenn (sister) and I see a hand search for a light switch in the projection room  and then everything went dark. Not really holding in the laughter, Jenn and I allowed the projector to be our only light for the remainder of our “midnight snack.”

BED TIME – We walk into the bed room and our attention is immediately drawn to the curtains where there is a spider the size of a golf ball hanging out, waiting to reenact scenes from CHARLOTTES WEB 2: Charlotte’s revenge. “Mom… mom? You need to… um… you need to come downstairs right now cause…. there’s… there’s a situation.” Stan (step father) comes down stairs with a fly swatter, we try to explain that this may injure one of it’s legs at the most. Mom screams “You need a back up plan, Stan! What if it runs under the bed”. Pure panic ensues, Stan begins to refer to himself as a WARLOCK and positions himself for an attack upon the Arachnid. Sure enough… the swap startles him and he runs under the bed, never to be seen again.
 PART TWO – Rabbit Holes, American Cheese, hospitals and new boyfriends…

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