THEY SAY IT’S HARD TO DO

I’m watching an awesome movie about breakups right now. What does one do when they go through a break up? There are several steps.

• DENIAL – Are we really broken up? We can’t be. No. Wait.. .are we? No, we’re fine. Everything’s fine. We were just talking about doing all this stuff together. So… seriously… it’s over? Okay… okay… that’s cool. It’s over, I guess. We can still be friends. We’re totally gonna be the best of friends. This is gonna be great because the relationship… see the relationship wasn’t working, but the friendship… it’s gonna be twice as strong now!! But really all you want to hear is:

• SADNESS – You’re heart broken. Gotta get those tears out. You think about the good times, you think about the bad times. You think about the things they said right before the rip cord was pulled. You think about the plans you had made together that you now won’t be able to make because… well… you’re not together. It’s all very sad.
• ANGER – You get angry thinking about the good times, you get angry thinking about the bad times. You think about things they said during the break up and you begin to see red.   You can’t go on that trip you had planned or see that concert you have tickets to. Fuck this! Just because they want to do what they want to do when they want to do it!!

• PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: Some make drastic changes to their physical appearance post break up such as: cutting all their hair off, losing or gaining a shit ton of weight and changing their wardrobe. Heartbreak can make you want to change everything about yourself on the outside because that’s what you have control of while the inside suffers. Hopefully you decide to all of a sudden eat right and start working out. But if you’re me… you’ll finally be able to get into those size 5 jeans you’ve had your eye on.
• EXCESSIVE ACTIVITY: Keep yourself busy. Thrust yourself into work, projects, anything that will keep you distracted. Your job… bees?

Distractions. Serial dating. Get out there again. Sure you’re not ready to fall in love again, but you can certainly meet new people and perhaps visit the past for a good ole confidence boost. I’m not saying this is a GOOD idea… I’m saying this is what people tend to do to keep themselves busy. Backwards steps. Sex with an ex or someone you know will “spend time” with you.  Getting drunk and making bad choices.  You’ve done it before and all you want is a sense of the familiar. A sense of feeling wanted since you currently feel so unwanted. Serial dating also includes attempting to find every single person in New York city and going on a first date. Maybe second, but never third… because you’re probably not ready. Strangers and Sex. Exes and drinks.  Work and extra curricular activities. That’s what this step is all about.

• ACCEPTANCE: Now it’s that time where you are exhausted by your will to move on. The dating slows down and you begin to change your focus a bit. You’re not thinking of the person as much as you may finally be able to move on in a healthy way… eventually.

They say time heals everything. If step 7 is MOVING ON… then hopefully, with the improvements our society has made to technology in the last few years, we will stumble upon a machine newly invented that will speed up steps one through 6. As I watch this fictional movie about a break up, I can’t help but thinking how this main character wishes that this machine were well on its way to market.

Then I start to think about movies people SHOULD watch during a break up. You don’t necessarily want to watch a heartbreaking movie… it only adds salt to the wound to watch that or a romantic comedy or something along those lines. Here’s what my best friend Dan Testa likes to watch during a break up:

VOLCANIC LOVE

I write a thousand songs for you a day
But I never run out of things to say
You’re my Ulysses that I’ll never end
Now that I fucked up, lost you, sweet friend

Everything is in the trash, and it’s my fault
I’ve destroyed us, I know, it’s unrecoverable
If there’s a God he will repair your heart
If there’s a God, send her an angel
Make him handsome and clever and not crazy
And you notice something wonderful
Someone to love her volcanically

And please, please, please God, don’t be a bastard
Christ knows she deserves something nice for a change
Christ knows she deserves something nice for a change
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com 

I am a flaw, I’m a mistake
I am faulty, I always break
I tried, you don’t believe me, but I did
I tried to mature, be responsible, dot dot dot
But my heart is juvenile
And my character’s not so hot

You gave me your hand, I gave you a fist
Please don’t lose any sleep over me, baby, I hardly exist

You gave me your hand, I gave you a fist
Please don’t lose any sleep over me, baby, I hardly exist

You gave me everything, still I resist
Please don’t lose any sleep over me, baby, I hardly exist
I hardly exist

 

Voltaic Crusher – of Montreal. 

NEWSIES REVIEW BY ERICA FOLEY

My review on Newsies. From Film to Broadway
By: Erica Foley (Guest Blogger) 

It was good. Really good. I like how they consolidated Denton/Sara into one new character. I always hated Sara anyway. She was so blaaaaaaah. The actress who played Plummer was very talented and had a really nice voice. Good harmonies. I was happy there. 

Santa Fe made me cry (are you really surprised). Of course the lights went up right after the song and I was like “shit I cried” which made my sister laugh at me, but I do not regret my tears!!! The song was sung beautifully and you really felt the emotion there. Its always been my favorite song in the movie. I often wanted to run away as a child. 

My two issues are as follows: 1) Medda. The actress was good and her voice was stunning. Truly. But it just didnt feel like MEDDA the MEADOWLARK to me. I didn’t think they should have changed her like that. 2) People have to be so god damned PC these days I hate it. For example they changed “stupid” to “nimwit” – like REALLY, you REALLY had to go there. I have a general issue with the whole “oh the kids are so innocent lets shelter them from everything…” mentality. I hate it. Its contributed to the rapid decline of emotional maturity in kids these days which is BAD. But thats a conversation for another day. I just thought it was very calculated where and when they changed dialogue. 

I LOVED the set.

The constant movement the interaction with set and characters. It was so good and added that little extra to everything. We had Mezzanine, First row, DEAD CENTER seats. They were great. When the set was moving towards you it felt like you could reach out and touch them, grab their hands, shake em and say “hey thanks for doing this. Ive been waiting for this day since 1992.” 

Jack Kelly was pretty hot. Chiseled chin, FANTASTIC voice, not a bad rear end either. Hes easy on the eyes but in a harder way then Bale was. It was interesting what they did there. Almost like they substituted swagger for sinister. Bale was soft around the edges, Jordan a little tougher. Overall I was happy with the casting. 

David was eh. He was good, but his constant spitting really grossed me out. I would have hated to be opposite him on stage. All of the old farts were great and I loved Roosevelt! Les was absolutely perfect. 

All-in-all the show was fantastic. They deserve all 8 Tony noms and I hope they win them all. Although I didn’t care for their subtle modern twists it didn’t ruin my experience in the least. I actually want to go again.

 

 

Harry

She slept beside him and he watched her as he did every morning before she stirred awake. He loved and hated this time in equal measure cause as he looked at her face, he enjoyed it’s sweetness but frowned at the thoughts that came over his mind. She had been distant towards him. He didn’t want to think of her as a tally on the wall, but it was becoming increasingly difficult not to as she pulled farther and farther away. He was thankful she was doing so as it was a reminder. A reminder of a truth she had been aiding him in forgetting.

He wanted to turn back time. He wanted to turn back time to when he was 21 and believed anything was possible. Before the “learn the hard ways” began. He wanted to stop learning things all together because it seemed that “the hard way” was the only way. What looked good, what felt amazing, what smelled incredible, what had all his senses begging him to throw away the book on what had once disappointed him turned out to be… another lesson. Not like the others, mind you. Something different. It hurt differently and was the king of exhaustion because he thought he had paid his dues. The fact of the matter was, his dues are what has made this so exhausting to him. Perhaps he’s being un fair, but you know what, life was un fair. These things from his past that etched away at his mind and caused the greatest of insecurities, the greatest of doubts, the greatest of roadblocks for actually being happy. Then that shadow walked in. The shadow that reminded him that he was foolish to believe that you could get everything he had always wanted. This shadow would appear sporadically and taunt at his chest and say to him through its darkness “You wanted once and now you attempt to chase that high. You didn’t have it then and you thought you might. What makes you think you’ll have it now? You are my example. You are my rule. Shame on you for believing you had been through enough to be the exception.” From his many life lessons, ‘all good things must come to an end’ was the most potent. It would have been smarter for him to have kept his bachelor pad. That was a new lesson he wished that he never would have had to learn.

 

HAPPINESS

Happiness is a disturbing movie starring an all “star” cast of Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jane Adams, Jon Lovits, Dylan Baker and Laura Flynn Boyle. It’s about a bunch of people who are actually pretty unhappy.

I’d like to talk about ACTUAL happiness because it’s hit me like a mack truck in the last few days. I think…. I think I might be happy. NOw why can’t I enjoy it? Why can’t I just sit back and enjoy the ride like normal people? Why do I have to look at all situations that put a wide smile on my face and ruminate on when the expiration date might be. That is what we call FEAR OF THE PAST. I have just been through the happiness to depression ringer too many times and I’m really worried about this one because it’s like one of the mirages that look so real it MIGHT in fact be real! But the last time I grabbed that cold, delicious looking coke, it turned into a bunch of dry sand in my hands. 

“you know what? I deserve it! [ turns to his mirror ] Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me! “  - Stuart Smalley.

It’s easier said than done though. It really is. How can one just throw caution to the wind and jump in with both feet first. Oh, right… that whole… my heart was destroyed once, twice, thrice before. Right… okay… maybe that has something to do with it. My niece keeps having “accidents”…. MAYBE it’s because of the new baby and she’s craving attention. And maybe I just forget that everything that’s happening right now is normal and wonderful and I should see it as such instead of allowing the glass is half empty, that’s been following me around pretty much my entire life, define what all of this is. Maybe I should remember that it’s normal to go to the toilet before I pee my pants…. wait… what?

Please don’t let this bite me in the ass. Happiness.

 

FAR FROM CHEKHOV (Part 3)

How a play goes from someone’s brain to a stage in New York City. Part 3: The cast and crew.

Exactly a week ago, on Wednesday the 28th, we had our first official table reading of Far From Chekhov with the cast that will be performing in said production at the end of May. It. Was. Awesome. When a cast sits down together for the first time and reads a script… something awesome happens. Something even more AWESOME happens when it feels like this cast has been performing together for years. After the reading, we all looked at each other and just knew that this is about to be an awesome process. I think, in the back of our mind, we also simultaneously wished that we had more performances together. But that is the curse of being a starving artist in New York City, isn’t it? Space rental costs money!

Casting this show started easy and then got more and more difficult as we approached the idea of auditions. We had certain people in mind at the start, but there were conflicts that lead us to believe it may be an unfortunate impossibility to use these certain actors.

The first role we cast was the role of Charlie, the middle sister. The sister who comes back home, after building a successful music career for herself, to mend ties with her estranged sisters. The sister with a secret. And the actress we cast was… me.

Here’s me acting my ass of as KATE from LOST

 When I first started producing professional theatre at the age of 17, I would sit behind the table and crave to be up there on the stage with the actors who were bringing to life my words and ideas. It was after that first produced play where I thought, “What if I wrote plays with parts that I know I can act in?” My initial fear is that some people would consider this a vain opportunity to wear multiple hats and do whatever I want. Then I started thinking… yeah. That’s exactly what this is and why should I be ashamed of it? I have always had an interest in performing, but not enough to go out for audition after audition and make it my entire career goal. There are more things I want to do… such as… WRITING. So why can’t I do both? If I’m willing to put in the work and find a team of people interested in being a part of it… then I’m  in a position where by the age of 30, I’ll have spent the majority of my life doing exactly what I love to do with out any omissions, with out any regret, with out rejection after rejection of “You’re too tall, you’re too big, you’re 80% hair and that isn’t going to work for us.” So I started writing pieces that I could act in because I love to perform as well as write and if it’s the right part, I can even be pretty good at it too. So yeah. I f*cking cast myself.

Next to cast was the role of Melissa. The older sister. The sister with a tough time being able to forgive and forget. On February 22nd, Play Club decided to host a reading of Far From Chekhov to hear the script out loud and decide if it was producible. We sent out an email blast looking for a few actors and to our luck, Samantha Rosentrater came and read for Melissa.

Samantha may have been the deciding factor as to whether or not we decided to go forward with producing this play. If she can do it, then we do. She was THAT good. We were also blessed at that reading with actor, Michael Grew.

Equity Actor, Michael Grew. Thus the question “Do we go UNION with this production or don’t we?” The Actors Equity Association is the labor union that represents more than 49,000 Actors and Stage Managers in the United States. Equity negotiates wages and working conditions and provides a wide range of benefits, including health and pension plans, for its members and is an extremely respected organization. It’s of dire importance, if you cast an equity actor, that you follow the rules and guidelines of equity or you and/or your actors could get into a lot of trouble with the union. With all the stress (financial, design, timing…) we were taking on just producing this play non union, the production team consisting of Patricia Lynn (director) and Rebecca Charles (Producer) decided that it might be best, for this first time around, to go NON Union. So we put out a casting call for the roles of Tom (Melissa’s husband), Ben (The adorable neighbor boy) and Carolyn (The youngest sister).

We sent out an email to certain people from our Play Club that we felt would be appropriate for the parts. We also put out an ad on Play Bill and crossed our fingers. Submissions came pouring in. Lots of chicks. We gathered those who’s resume looked BEST for the parts and sent out sides for them to look over before their audition and a time slot. We were hoping to cast a Play Club member and keep it all in the family, but were also looking forward to seeing fresh, new talent.

So many talented people read that night and I was so proud of every single Play Club member who auditioned. In fact, the top five (with out bias) happened to be 4 Play Club members and 1 newbie. At the end of the day, the right attitude, spirit and chemistry for the role of Carolyn came from Madeline Chilese.

Maddy is a writer/ actress and our first introduction to her was when she submitted her original play “Three Equals One” back in October of 2011. We produced a staged reading of the piece and it was a hit! When Maddy came in to audition, it had been a while since she had participated in Play Club, so we were pleased that her audition was so fantastic AND that she was ready to play again.

After a few back and forths the Chekhov production team decided to go Equity. It’s that much more professional and I had yet to go through the process of an Equity showcase code in my producing career. We were excited for the experience and to take producing to that next level. This enabled us to keep Grew on board as Ben and left to cast was the role of Tom.

Play Club has some pretty talented actors who like to get together and play with each other each month and one of the most talented actors in the club is Christopher Norwood.

 Equity actor, Christopher Norwood. Chris was at our very first Play Club reading, which was a year ago on the 29th of March, and on that day he and Play Club silently agreed that we couldn’t wait to all work together on a more professional level. He had been originally considered for the role of Tom, but since we weren’t sure if we were going to go Equity, we kept him at bay. So thrilled that we can now add him to make a truly bitchin’ cast.

So Samantha, Michael, Maddy, Chris, Rebecca, Patricia and myself head unto the breach  to enjoy the slings and arrows of awesome fortune.

PAM QUINN Moved to California from New York at age 14 and entered the professional world of writing at 17 on the west coast. By her 20th birthday she had three original works produced in the Los Angeles area. Rising from sketch comedy writing and a background in theatre, Pam collected what she had learned over the years and compiled it into playwriting. She began collaborating on an idea for an original musical (Right Together, Left Together) with Will Collyer and Jacob Harvey. Since moving back to New York in ’05, Pam hasn’t stopped breathing this idea. She co-founded The Unknown Artists (www.theunknownartists.org) with Emily Clark and continues to be prolific within this fantastic company. www.uaplayclub.wordpress.com
EMAIL HER |  FACEBOOK | TWITTER | OTHER POSTS BY THIS AUTHOR

FAR FROM CHEKHOV (Part 2)

How a play goes from someone’s brain to a stage in New York City. Part 2: The play.

Melissa, Charlie and Carolyn all grew up in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. They were raised by their single father after their mother ran off with another man when they were children. Charlie fled, at age 19, to Los Angeles forcing Melissa, the eldest, to move back home to take care of her ailing father and 11 year old sister. The play begins 8 years later, with Charlie returning to South Carolina for the death of their father. She attempts to make amends with her estranged sisters with out revealing why she had to leave in the first place.

Setting:
The LaClaire House. Located in South Carolina.

Characters:
Melissa: The eldest sister. Unforgiving.
Tom: Melissa’s husband. Knowing.
Charlie: The middle sister. Sarcastic.
Carolyn: The youngest sister. Frustrated.

(Melissa enters Carolyn’s room. She just sits on the bed and stares off into space.)

CAROLYN
What?

MELISSA
I’m thinking.

CAROLYN
Don’t strain yourself.

MELISSA
She’s been here all of ten minutes and you’ve already adopted her attitude.

CAROLYN
Good.

MELISSA
Why am I so angry? So angry.

CAROLYN
Because you’re a drama queen.

MELISSA
Thank you, my baby sister.

CAROLYN
You’re angry because she hasn’t been part of our lives.

MELISSA
Aren’t you?

CAROLYN
Yes. But I’d rather not waste this time being angry with her. I’d rather get to know her. Who knows when she’s gonna up and leave again?

MELISSA
Exactly. Why waste your time?

CAROLYN
Mel, when you say stuff like that you make me feel older.

(Charlie, in the kitchen with Tom, begins drinking.)

CHARLIE
How was the funeral?

TOM
It was… really nice.

CHARLIE
(annoyed) Was he cremated?

TOM
These are questions you can ask Melissa.

CHARLIE
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but she’s not exactly forthcoming with information.

TOM
You two need to be locked in a room with one another and just hash this out.

CHARLIE
That’s your prognosis, Doctor? How long have you been out of practice?

TOM
Too long.

(Carolyn stands and prepares to exit.)

CAROLYN
Alright. Bed’s made. I cleared out the bottom two drawers of my dresser so she can use those. How long is she staying?

MELISSA
Don’t know, don’t care. (Begins to follow her out.)

CAROLYN
Oooh. You’re so jaded.

(Melissa playfully hits the back of Carolyn’s head as the two of them exit the bedroom. Charlie shoots the rest of her drink and goes to get more.)

TOM
I really hope Melissa catches up, otherwise, this will not be a fun night for you.

CHARLIE
Guess what? Under every circumstance, this will be anything but a fun night for me.

TOM
You don’t know that.

CHARLIE
I don’t know, Tom. Maybe just too much damage has been done.

TOM
It’s never too late.

CHARLIE
Christ. When did you get so glass is half full? I know that’s not her influence.

(Mel enters with Carolyn behind her. Charlie does not see them)

CHARLIE (CONT’…)
I mean, you have this unbelievable Poly Anna view of how Melissa and I are going to patch things up. I know her. When there is pure hatred in the eyes, you can’t break it. It’s just not going to happen.

MELISSA
Then why did you come back?

CHARLIE
(Notices her and looks up directing her comment towards God.)
Oh, you…

MELISSA
If you see no hope of making things right, then why are you here?

CHARLIE
Well, I had to come here to see if that pure hatred was in fact in your eyes before I made a proclamation like “there’s no hope in making things right.”

MELISSA
Why are you here?

CHARLIE
Uh…

MELISSA
What are you doing here Charlie? You definitely didn’t come for the funeral being that you’re more than a few hours late.

(Carolyn enters)

CHARLIE
(breathes)
I didn’t come for the funeral. I came for you and Carolyn.

MELISSA
You were able to fit us into your schedule?

CHARLIE
Okay. Have at it. Let’s hear it. I know you must have a lot to say to me.

MELISSA
Why waste words?

CAROLYN
She’s upset because you didn’t come to her wedding.

MELISSA
Carolyn!

CHARLIE
I couldn’t come. I had no choice.

MELISSA
Oh, you always have a choice, Charlie.

CHARLIE
Why are you so bent out of shape? I bought you a gift!

MELISSA
Yes, thank you. It was a beautiful toaster.

CHARLIE
Hit me. Punch me. Just get it over with, cause I refuse to walk on fucking hot coals around you.

CAROLYN
Can we not do this? Please? I don’t have it in me to partake in or even watch this display of “you hurt ME. No you hurt ME”

CHARLIE
Mel, you hurt me!

(Charlie smiles at Carolyn, Melissa is not amused.)

MELISSA
Look, I thought maybe when you came for the funeral, we might… I don’t know. But when you didn’t show… I don’t have the energy to…

CHARLIE
Effort, Melissa. This will take effort. But nothing’s unfixable. I didn’t go to the funeral, I know. But Jesus Christ. I’m here now, aren’t I? Get off your high horse of judgments and

CAROLYN
Get over yourselves. Look at each other and deal with it. (begins making her and Melissa a drink.) Do either of you remember how close we were growing up?

CHARLIE
Well, things happen.

MELISSA
What? What happened? What are these things that happened in your life that made us so unbearable to be around?

CHARLIE
(beat) I’m not ready for this.

MELISSA
You’re never ready for anything! For funerals, for weddings…

CHARLIE
This really is all about your wedding.

MELISSA
No. It’s not. But you are my sister. I wanted you there. I mean, come on Charlie! I grew up right beside you and I don’t…

CHARLIE
No, you did not grow up beside me. You were barely in the same house.

MELISSA
What?

CHARLIE
You were never here. You were never here to see what was going on.

CAROLYN
What was going on here? Really, Charlie, what was going on? Because I was here too. I was here with you.

CHARLIE
Carolyn, please…

CAROLYN
No. I want to know. You reprimand Melissa for not being here to see what it was like. What was it like? Because I was happy.

CHARLIE
I know you were, Car. That’s the problem.

MELISSA
What problem?

CHARLIE
You were hap… Forget it. We were happy. I left because I was selfish and I was given an opportunity to make money somewhere else. So I did. I went. I wanted to be better.  I wanted out of this town. I knew I couldn’t be better here.

(Melissa doesn’t believe Charlie.)

CAROLYN
Better than what? Better than us?

CHARLIE
Better than myself.

MELISSA
(serious) She’s lying.

TOM
Mel…

MELISSA
No, she’s lying.

CHARLIE
Believe what you want, Melissa. No one can change your mind.

MELISSA
But you just did. You’re telling me what I want to hear. It’s what I believed. I believed that you were just being selfish when you left.

CHARLIE
That’s how I felt.

CAROLYN
You said that I was happy, and that was the problem. What happened to make you so unhappy?

CHARLIE
This is unbelievable. I was bored. I felt ignored.

MELISSA
You’re lying right into my face, Charlie.

CHARLIE
Why do I feel like I’m being interrogated?

CAROLYN
Because you are.

CHARLIE
Back off. If you’re looking for some hidden story, you’ll be sorely disappointed.

MELISSA
Stop lying.

TOM
Mel, please… just…

MELISSA
Why are you defending her? Do you honestly not see it?

TOM
I just think that you maybe…

MELISSA
Do you know something about this?

TOM
What?

MELISSA
Oh my God.

TOM
Melissa.

CAROLYN
What does he know?

TOM
Nothing. I don’t know anything.

MELISSA
What the hell is going on here?

CHARLIE
Oh, will you stop? Stop! Stop with the conspiracy theories and the questions. Just stop.

MELISSA
You tell me, you swear to me that you were only bored and that you just needed to get away from the city. Swear to me.

CHARLIE
Grow up.

MELISSA
(turns to Tom)
Tom. Swear to me.

TOM
(silent) No. Mel, I can’t.

(Charlie becomes disappointed and Melissa becomes very upset. She exits, hurt.)

CAROLYN
(emotional) He would have wanted you to sing!

CHARLIE
What?

CAROLYN
At his funeral! He would have wanted you to sing at his funeral!

(Carolyn storms off in anger, reaches her room and slams the door shut leaving Tom alone with Charlie.)

CHARLIE
I would have killed myself before I would sing at his funeral.

Part 3: The Cast and Crew…